


The Chef Under the Mountain

by thelvenqueen



Series: Behind Closed Doors [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and fails horribly, thorin tries to make bilbo breakfast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:19:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1933701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelvenqueen/pseuds/thelvenqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin knows how much hobbits love their food, so after a night of fun decides to make Bilbo breakfast. Unfortunately for Bilbo, Thorin’s cooking skills are not as great as he would hope.</p><p>{can be read as stand alone}</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chef Under the Mountain

**Author's Note:**

> Something silly I thought up that takes place the morning after Pillow Fight.

Thin rays of light peeked from behind thick curtains shining on Bilbo’s face causing him to stir. Inhaling deeply he stretched his arms out looking for his husband, and was disappointed when all he grabbed were sheets. He peeked one eye open and then another before sitting up. Bilbo looked around their room, had Thorin gotten up and began the day already? Bilbo recalled his husband being in pretty bad shape after his late night workout and even more so after Bilbo had a go at him. Bilbo smirked and stretched his arms once more over his head before rising from his bed when the door cracked open. Thorin strolled in carrying a platter of... well Bilbo wasn't entirely too sure what Thorin had brought along with him. 

"Good morning," Bilbo chirped, "What do you have there?"

"I woke earlier and could not get back to sleep, so I decided to try to make those breakfast cakes you like so much."

"Oh," Bilbo smiled, "I love pancakes!" Thorin beamed at this as he placed the plate of food in front of Bilbo and handed him a fork. Bilbo looked down at the meal and bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from grimacing. Half of the pancakes weren't far from burnt while the others were still close to batter. The stack was almost floating the massive amount of syrup that was poured on them. Bilbo hoped to Yavana that the clumps he saw in them were blueberries. He looked back up at Thorin who looked so eager to please him. Bilbo slapped on the best smile he could, took a deep breath and put a forkful of the maple mush in his mouth.

"Do you like it, âzyungâl?" Thorin asked hopefully. Bilbo, using all his strength to keep his face from shifting, swallowed heavily and nodded. 

"May I have something to drink as well?" Bilbo choked out, he was going to need something to wash this down with. 

"Of course." Thorin got up to retrieve the juice he had brought with him. When Bilbo could see Thorin's back was fully turned he looked down at the stack of ‘pancakes’ with pure terror. And knowing Thorin, he will be staying by his side until Bilbo was finished eating. _This is going to be a long morning_ , Bilbo though as he put another bite in his mouth. 

\---

“It was horrible, Ori.” Bilbo finished retelling this morning’s events to his friend over a cup of afternoon tea. Not very many of the dwarves partook in sitting down midafternoon for some snacks, so Bilbo was thrilled that Ori had time for him today. 

“I take it they were not blueberries then?” Ori asked his friend before taking another sip from his cup. He felt both sorry for Bilbo and amused at the same time; he hoped the latter wasn’t showing through too much.

“That is the worst part, Ori,” Bilbo said solemnly, shaking his head, “I don’t know.” He had finally calmed down, finishing off the rest of his tea. The story had gotten him quite worked up. Ori chalked it up to being the fact that hobbits took their food very seriously. Bilbo remained looking traumatized. This time Ori didn’t bother to contain his amusement and laughed. “It’s not funny, Ori!”

Ori put a mitted hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. “Sorry, I just think it is sweet that out king does little things like this to show his affections for you.”

“I suppose you are right,” Bilbo said pouring himself and Ori another cup of tea. “Has Dwalin ever made you breakfast in bed before?”

“Oh Mahal, no!” Ori said a little louder than he meant to. “His culinary skills are not one of his strong points and he knows it.” Both he and Bilbo laughed at the idea of their warrior lovers attempting to cook a decent meal.

\---

“They were bad, Dwalin.” Thorin was almost finished giving his longtime friend a rundown of his attempt at bringing Bilbo breakfast in bed. “But he ate all of them! I know hobbits enjoy their food, but what I fed my poor husband this morning was just cruel. Which is why I need your help to make it up to him by cooking something better.”

“Ack!” Dwalin starred at his king in disbelief. “You know cooking is not one of my strong points. Besides, if he ate them all maybe they tasted better that they looked.”

“We both know Bilbo only ate them to make me feel better.” Thorin said lowly. Dwalin nodded in agreement and cracked a half smile at the thought of the little hobbit eating Thorin’s ‘pancakes’. His smile disappeared when Thorin threw an apron at his tattooed head. 

“Let’s get to work.” Thorin commanded with the same authority he would with an army. Dwalin grunted in displeasure but tied the apron on. He had followed his king into battles, across thousands of miles to provide for their people and on a suicide mission to reclaim their home, but this was by far the most challenging task he was about to take on. 

\---

Bilbo and Ori were finished with their tea and about to get back to their duties around the kingdom when their lovers came in. Both of them looked a little off. Bilbo wondered if everything was all right when Thorin presented him with another tray of what looked like tiny cakes, and that was being generous. Bilbo wasn’t sure if they were chocolate or just burnt, and the strawberry sauce drizzled over did not do a good job of making them look more appetizing. 

“To go with your tea.” Thorin grunted when neither of them said anything, snapping Bilbo’s attention away from the tray.

“Oh,” Bilbo said, his tone much higher than normal. He cleared his throat before taking the tray from Thorin. “Thank you so much. Ori, look at treats Thorin and Dwalin made for us.”

Ori just nodded, his eyes wide eyes shifting back and forth from the ‘food’ to Dwalin. The burly dwarf merely pressed his lips together in a thin line and looked at his lover apologetically. The room was quiet again. Dwalin and Thorin both waiting for someone to try the cakes; Bilbo and Ori unsure of what to do. Neither of them wanted to eat one, but their lovers did not look like they were leaving anytime soon. Someone was going to have to be brave.

Bilbo swallowed and looked back down at the tray. He slowly picked the one that looked the least burnt and raised it to his mouth. _Goodness, these were as hard as a rock_ , Bilbo thought before opening his mouth. Dwalin and Ori both gave him a look as if he were about to face another dragon on his own. It seemed as if everyone held their breath while they waited. 

“No, I’m sorry.” Bilbo said putting the cake back down swiftly. A small clank sounded when the cake hit the tray. “Thorin, I love you and I promised to always be honest with you.” Bilbo looked up at his husband and spoke quickly, “My love, this morning’s breakfast was probably the worst meal I have ever had, and that is including the food we had on the journey to reclaim Erebor. It is not that I did not love you waking early to cook me breakfast. It was very thoughtful of you to do that for me and sweet but-” 

Bilbo was cut off when Thorin pulled him into his arms and gave him a quick but firm peck on the lips. 

“Azyungâl” Thorin began, releasing Bilbo and taking his hands in his. “I only strive to make you happy, and if me never entering a kitchen again does that then so be it.” 

“The same goes for you.” Ori said nudging Dwalin, who smiled and pulled the smaller dwarf into his arms and rested his chin atop Ori’s head. “So, what do we do with the, er, cakes?”

“Do you want to feed them to Fili and Kili?” Bilbo suggested. Thorin smirked, his hobbit ceased to amaze him with his mischievous cleverness. 

“Oh yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
